I Purchased Skyrim…Again!

Skyrim really is the gaming equivalent of crack. Not the good, refined stuff though. More the kind of crack that has been diluted with a mix of concrete and dandruff, siphoned from the head of a teenager that believes that regimented hygiene intel’s turning your underpants inside out after a couple of days of wear. Yet despite its ageing allure, it’s pervasive revisions and my own enduring familiarity with this decade old game, I can’t help but be beguiled by its beguiling opulence. A world replete with expansive autonomy. A sovereignty that affords a unique opportunity to fulfil your vocation of becoming Skyrim’s most revered former convict, who has ascended to being an administrator of the college of Winterhold, commander of the Companions, head of the thieves guild, chief stabber of the Dark Brotherhood and pacifier of civil wars. Husband. Father (adopted). Vampire. Werewolf. And owner of an extensive collection of daedric artefacts. That at some point during our journey, will revert back to being a stealthy archer.

When the conquest of slaying an inter-dimensional dragon, becomes a secondary consideration to property development, it’s a small wonder why we keep coming back to the frost covered mountains of Skyrim. To engage in its auspicious vastness in pursuit of achieving any of these numerous vocations, that on the surface would appear contradictory. Yet despite the games semblance of depth, this facade is somewhat skewed by the superficial depiction of morality and the conflicting principles of being a practising necromancer managing the Thieves guild, College of Winterhold, Dark Brotherhood and the Companions? Or perhaps it just speaks to our ability to diversify and expand our reputation in different factions. A freedom endowed by an environment that is specifically catered to our role as an almost omnipotent being, with the soul of a dragon.

Despite its ageing senility. The repetitious monotony of a place I recognise better than my own town, and no matter how many years have passed between engagements, I just cannot quit Skyrim! With this latest compulsion the result of a Sixth different purchase. A sixth separate variation that includes my original PS3 iteration, PS4 Special Edition, PSVR, PS5 Upgrade Special Edition, Switch and now a Steam variant. Spanning five separate platforms! There’s an almost nostalgic quality to playing Skyrim again. Like going back and to your childhood bedroom during a visit to your parents over the Christmas period to see if it’s how you remember it. And, continuing with this festive analogy, coming back to Skyrim is much like abstaining from Forrero Rochers because that’s all any one would buy you, only to eat one year’s later and recall with sudden recognition, just how much you like Forrero Rochers.

I guess what I’m saying is…I have a problem.

10 Years Of Skyrim.

To discover (forget) that Skyrim is celebrating it’s tenth anniversary is both sobering and terrifying. It’s ubiquity has ascended to heights rarely seen in gaming. Revered to such echelons, that even the mightiest “Thu’um” would be but a distant whisper. I don’t know what’s more impressive; the lasting, meme inspiring legacy, or how Skyrim has propagated a variation of itself over several platforms that I’d be surprised if every hotel room didn’t come supplied with a copy of it in the bedside drawer. Skyrim has endured, despite Bethesda’s renowned negligence in optimising its games with any competency. But it’s credit to Skyrim’s resilient charm and immersive continent, that can be explored at your own discretion, that has afforded it such universal recognition.

There’s a comfort to the familiarity. An earnest conviction that manifests beneath the antiquated graphics and surface level combat. Playing it now, I feel that Skyrim might be more endearing than it has ever been. The province looks as vast and as treacherous as it did when I first emerged from the caves beneath the smouldering remains of Helgen. Clutching my Bow and a handful of coins, apprehensive, yet exhilarated at the prospect of exploring this expansive and unknown region. That sense of wonder is still there, as is the compulsion to do the same things again. I think that’s the beauty of it really, that no two people will play the game the same way. Some may vary where they go, what weapons to use or what attributes to refine. If you’re anything like me, upon escaping Helgen you might venture to Riverwood, retrieve the golden claw and DragonStone tablet from the bowls of Bleak Falls Barrow, before returning these artefacts to there respective beneficiaries and depart on another thrilling pilgrimage.

What astounds me most isn’t Skyrim’s prevailing admiration among its fans, but that in the 10 years since its release I have:

• Been approved for a mortgage.

• Moved house.

• Bought a PlayStation 4.

• Learnt to drive.

• Became a father.

• Changed jobs.

• Bought a PlayStation 5.

• Survived a global pandemic.

• And purchased Skyrim on 3 different platforms.

But whether it was on my ageing PS3, being mesmerised by VR or with the Switch while taking a dump, Skyrim has always been immersive. Inflicting untold knee injuries, bartering with irascible merchants, visiting the cloud district and killing the witless inhabitants of Tamriel that believes that the wind is Michael Myers. So let’s raise a glass of Skooma, plunder the carcass of your nearest slain dragon a give a loud resounding “Thu’um!” to one of the greats!

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What are your fondest memories of playing Skyrim? Let me know in the comments below. Cheers.

You Can’t Trust Games Trailers With No Gameplay.

Talking about gaming to those that don’t play them tends to be a tedious display of cryptic exchanges, provoking all manner of scrupulous glances. With most either ignorant or politely dismissive of the activity, its usually a topic of conversation one attempts to avoid. You can say you spent your evening reading a book, watching a movie or even mocking last night’s episode of “Game Of Thrones” and be met with a reciprocal nod of approval, perhaps even a conversational signal to elaborate on what you thought/felt about what you read/watched. But mention gaming and watch as they avoid eye contact, trying desperately not to say anything trivialising about a form of entertainment they deem juvinile. Gaming is generally a topic best avoided if you want to engage in a mature, adult conversation. Yet sometimes gaming’s influence finds a way of piercing the veil between the ignorant and the woke. On this occasion an enquiry from someone that doesn’t play computer games, other than mobile ones came courtesy of my girlfriend.

My girlfriend doesn’t play computer games. Sure she indulges in a few mobile variations, pilfering coins from villages and alike but nothing I’d consider substantial. So when watching TV, with her being the pragmatic and acutely observant person she is commented on a commercial for The Elder Scrolls Online update “Elswyr” by questioning the use of footage that isn’t featured in the game. “If it’s not actual gameplay footage, then why is it in the advert?”. A valid and logical surmise I’m sure you’ll agree. But a question that can only really be answered with an ironically farcical, yet suitably accurate response: “To deceive consumers”. This curt reply didn’t surprise her nearly as much as it surprised me. Frankly all of these “not actual gameplay footage” advertising merely perpetuates the mendacious attitude and deceitful nature of developers/publishers that has become a prevalent, yet accepted ploy in a corrupt and morally bankrupt industry.

Dave Gorman, a British comedian examined the deceitful qualities exhibited by such advertising in his stand up, reflecting on the logistics and bewildering decision to not include actual footage from the game. “You don’t see adverts for tea with Not actual tea on them?!” being a particular highlight. What I’ve come to realise with the emergence of such duplicitous trailers is one beautiful and universal truth: if it doesn’t show actual footage from the game I don’t trust it. I don’t buy it. Because in all probability the reason for its absence is that the actual gameplay is garbage. Subverting player expectation is one thing, but advertising fraudulent content is downright treachery.

“The Elder Scrolls: Blades”: Taking An Arrow To The Wallet.

I’d originally planned to discuss The Elder Scrolls Blades a few weeks ago, back when I’d downloaded it during its early access period. But other more interesting discussions prompted me to temporarily postpone my perfunctory analysis, which should give you some indication into how apathetic I was about this diluted, shill of an Elder Scrolls game. The Elder Scrolls Blades is as much an Elder Scrolls game as it is a Lord Of The Rings story. There are particular correlating themes, some overlapping Tolkien principles that make comparisons rather easy. But really Blade’s shares only cursory affiliation with it’s more comprehensive sibling. The most notable deviation is the limitation imposed on player control.

Because of mobiles congenital simplicity, movement of your character reflects that ease of use with control condensed into a tap and move adaptation. Guided by an ethereal blue mist through a series of barely distinguishable dungeons that trails off ahead, explicitly indicating your next objective, navigation is somewhat negligible. Combat, which has hardly been the series most revered attribute functions about as well as it can considering the limitations of touch screen devices. Holding down your finger will activate a kind of pulsating circular prompt that when timed precisely will unleash the full potential of your swing. It’s hardly immersive, but its effective enough to elicit some semblance of engagement. You level up much the same way as you do in any Elder Scrolls game, gaining experience through combat, unlocking passive and more direct abilities as you go. There’s no question however that Blades, at least for a mobile game is aesthetically captivating. It’s downright gorgeous at times, with visuals that I really didn’t believe a handheld device could achieve! It’s largely bug free too, with perhaps a couple of loading issues impeding my progress. But most of us don’t really care about this. It’s sadly irrelevant when weighed against the acrimonious notoriety of loot boxes. Or in this instance, loot chests.

“A very rare moment of me receiving 2 gems at once, in a game that is particularly economical about giving premium items”.   

Most “Free to play” business models rely on premium services. Passively encouraged as a way to expedite time sensitive logistics, removing those pesky game-play intrusions. Mobiles overtly promoted monitisation that typically saturates your experience is no different here. Usually I’m one of those self righteous, morally superior twerps, perceptive of the immutable exploitation of greedy developers, that chooses to go on campaigns to spite such practices by not spending a penny. Now I don’t believe that Blades exploits player participation as virulently as other established mobile titles, but its difficult to see how you can progress without buying any premium currency, in this case gems. As you explore and complete dungeons you’ll be rewarded with chests of differing rarity. Gold, silver and bronze wooden, each with an equivalent time restriction. Wooden chests open in seconds. Silver, a much rarer derivation takes 1 hour, though during early access was an excruciating 3 hour wait! And Gold and agonising 6 hours! They each contain materials, weapons or other miscellaneous items. Play enough and you’ll soon accumulate enough chests that you can’t store anymore, unless you spend gems to increase your capacity. Now you can earn gems through natural play, though this is exceedingly rare. They can also be used to speed up chest opening times, which the game makes very easy for you to do, to the point that on several occasions I did by accident.

Blades is very punctual, even beholden in its propensity to entice you to spend money when you shouldn’t need to, that it may as well notify you with prompts that say “click here to gives us your money”. What concerns me is that a big AAA company like Bethesda might consider such mictrotransanctions as a viable commodity in their console games. That Blades may very well be an experiment to see if obvious fan vitriol has any adverse effect on a clearly dubious business model. With Bethesda’s credibility subsequently tarnished by Fallout 76, its hard to imagine how the “Elder Scrolls 6” can be released without incident. Or a slew of fettered mictrotransanctions to moderate content. I hope I’m wrong, I truly do.

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But what did you think of “Blades?”. Let me know in the comments below. Cheers.

That Time I Stopped Playing Computer Games.

Finding time to engage with games with the same habitual servitude you nurtured as a bored, obnoxiously lazy teenager is somewhat mitigated by other discernible less interesting necessities as you get older. Such as work, social engagements or, you know, your children! The pursuit for a sustained period of quality gaming becomes not just a challenge but can for many prove to be inextricably harried by the retinue of interferences that come with being a responsible adult. Managing your finances, paying bills or working overtime certainly isn’t the engaging, fun adult alternative to your “TV game thing”, but a priority we endure to benefit our lives and family. As prevalent as you’d like it to be, at times computer games can sometimes feel like an extraneous waste of valuable resources as well as time.

I’ve previously alluded to the importance of gaming in my life on several, elongated occasions, highlighting the comfort I receive from engaging with them even for brief sporadic periods. But there was a time in my life when I thought I had outgrown this wearisome extremity of juvenility. That employment was somehow an end to such childish associations. “Silly rabbit, games are for kids.”

I was in my late teens, working a 9-5 job Monday to Friday, squandering every penny regularly with evenings down my local pub with friends drinking, playing pool and courting fair young maidens. By which I mean bombarding them with innate chat, vomiting flattery all of them with all the charm of a dozing blob fish, and in some cases just vomiting. The majority of our time was dedicated to having a good time and hopefully in the process attracting female company. Now someone of my introverted disposition found the latter very difficult to achieve without the stimulating assistance of the former, which as you can imagine has variable degrees of failure. Now my intentions were always noble. There was no salacious intent of my part to merely engage in sexual pursuits with women I barely knew to flaunt some arcane perception of masculinity. That my virility was somehow indicative of the number of women I’ve slept with. I was genuinely trying to find a partner that I could eventually settle down with. And I was vindicated in this pursuit when I met my current partner some 11 years ago now. But because so much of my time as well as finances were occupied by socializing, gaming became superfluous.

“One of the many games that got me back into gaming”.

When I did find reasonable time to absorb myself back into games, I found that I just couldn’t engage with them with the same enthusiasm I used too. Rpg’s that I would have devoted entire weekends too, that ostensibly necessitated a prolonged engagement didn’t generate the same persuasive captivation that had once consumed my life. I figured this was just one of those things that happens, a necessary step in maturity that afflicts us all. And for a good year or so I didn’t really play anything. That is until I purchased a PS3.

I had accumulated a reasonable sum of money working overtime and spending less time, and by extension money on going out, favouring nights in watching movies with my girlfriend. Educating her on the glaring movie omissions in her life such as “Back To The Future” , “Jaws” and “Raiders Of The Lost Ark.” So I took the plunge into the rapids of the PS3 merely out of curiosity, which happened to be conveniently boxed with GTA IV, a series staple back when I was a kid.

“Sometimes safe and familiar is a good thing!”

It’s fair to say that I wasn’t entirely blown away by it. The sardonic humour was absent, replaced instead by an obnoxious cousin with all the charisma of an attention seeking mollusc. The satirical depiction of modern culture felt bereft of any significant charm. Liberty City itself was a bland, colourless vicinity that utilised 50 shades of Grey before it became synonymous with a more salacious connotations. And the overall vibe of the game just felt sterile and really rather cold. If it hadn’t been for the fact that I had spent so much on the PS3 I probably would have given up on games once again. Thankfully the saving grace of “Ratchet & Clank: Tools Of Destruction” saved me from premature resignation.

Though not my favourite in the series, it did provoke enough familiarity with the series I’d known to remind me why I used to love playing games so much; for the fun. That was it, the catalyst, the end of my abstinence. I was hooked again! It wasn’t long until my collection of PS3 games expanded. Whether it was sequels to firmly established franchises like “Devil May Cry” or “Resident Evil.” Unfamiliar games like “Uncharted”, “Elder Scrolls: Oblivion” or “Red Dead Redemption.” Everything felt fresh, exciting and fun. It was comparable to meeting up with a friend you haven’t seen since school and immediately bonding as if you hadn’t since them since Science class that morning.

Now my relationship with games is far more amicable. I’m neither absent nor consumed with sating a 10 hour marathon run on Skyrim. The Nintendo Switch certainly enables me to continue gaming in a far more efficient manner and the PS4 is as always the favoured nocturnal activity. As a result of both age and circumstances I’m still a gamer, able to talk (write) for hours about even the most trivial of gaming culture, but still productive enough outside of that culture to work exceedingly long hours and spend precious free time with my daughter and girlfriend.

Perhaps I have matured……a little.

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Have you ever stopped gaming for an extended period? If so what, if anything got you back into them? Let me know in the comments below. Cheers.