Duck That Goose!

Every parent struggles with the tribulations of rearing an ungrateful, unreasonable, often unbearable hell spawn! The tantrums, the irrational outbursts. Children invariably provoke these emotions in us all! But as parents it is our duty to be considerate and patient custodians. Mentor them through their feral compulsions, to ensure that some day in the future, they will appreciate your efforts and despise you just a little less than if you’d given them up for adoption with Freddy Krueger. The balance of tutoring them with your own naturally acquired experiences, nurturing their own independent proclivities is difficult to manage without imposing your own ideals and opinions on them. Forever moulding them into a vile facsimile of yourself. They should never be forced into liking the same things we do!

As a father I try to encourage my daughter’s own discovered interests. To be independent from her parents own fostered proclivities. Though I’ll admit that there is an abiding sense of kinship that develops when your hobbies intersect. And I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be just a little proud if she shared my habitual need to game. But anyone who has kids will know how difficult it is to keep them engaged on any one thing for an extended period of time. The likes of “Animal Crossing” and “Mario Kart” sustain a finite amount of allure, before her attention wanes. But “Untitled Goose Game” has roused a dormant affinity that has been absent in other computer games.

There’s something in the Goose’s anarchic perversity that appeals to her mischievous nature. An inert desire to watch the world burn, via the vicarious guise of an agitating goose. Strutting through the rustic streets of a colloquial English village, honking at residents, defacing public property, stealing various objects and antagonising small children into phone boxes. Like a disgruntled Brexit supporter. My 6 year elicits a great deal of solace in replicating the chaotic absurdity she inflicts on her mother and me. And with the option of 2 player co-op, I can collude in the illusion that such mutinous behaviour is acceptable. But what surprises me about her continued investment in this goose driven irritation, is how adept she is when it comes to problem solving.

Untitled Goose Game is predicated on the disciplined and focused anarchy you inflict. For instance your “to-do list”, that is as close as the game comes to an actual narrative, consists of specific tasks that have to be fulfilled before you can progress to the next area. Though many of these objectives are self-explanatory, it’s not always obvious how to achieve them. It implores you to be creative in assessing the method to achieve the specific errand. It’s curious just how observant my daughter is when trying to figure out a way to achieve these goals. Determining solutions to problems with concise, analytical scrutiny. And it’s adorable how she details her theories on how best to complete tasks, plotting and scheming like a Bond villain as she does so.

The fact that a game centered on an antagonistic goose, encourages player creativity to achieve their objectives, while still engaging them in the absurdity of being an antagonistic goose is nothing short of astonishing. Though as I play along as my daughter’s begrudging accomplice, complicit in her devious compulsions to steal a man’s slippers from his feet, I realise that I might be cultivating impulses that a parent should be inhibiting. The best any father can hope for with their child is that they don’t grow up to be a psychopath. Judging by her performance, I may have failed.

The Casablanca Incident

“As time goes by…so to does trust.”

Of all the maps, in all the co-operative modes in all the matches, she had to spawn into mine. I’ll explain this confusing opening statement promptly, but first I would like to express that in the context of online interlacing, there are certain online eventualities that are seemingly indifferent to your evasive formulations, and utterly resilient to any underhanded subterfuge you adopt to avoid particular confrontations. The typically selfish individuals so intent on their own preservation and inflation of experience, that they require continued evaluation, protection and tactical monitoring to prevent them from either encasing themselves so far from cavorting with the intended assailants that your there to vanquish, and placing themselves into spirally induced narcolepsy, stimulated by, you would assume some form of hallucinogenic contaminate meshed into their confectionary, judging by their increased aversion to combat and the previously stated fondness for their rotating scurrying, which can only really be appropriately articulated by suggesting its like observing a vacant dog, which invariably hastens their deserved demise, as well as my own. But these inconvenient nuisances are mere trivialities in comparison to what I have affectionately refer to as the “Casablanca Incident”.

With continued, vigorous embraces online, you will naturally begin procuring allies, which can lead to favorable interactions and eventually, a list bulging with potential friends ready to lend aid when such services are required (what a quaint virtual world we socialize in). But pressures of life and potential virtual conquests can deteriorate even the most hardened of established bonds; increased activity with other recipients, choosing to engage online independently for an evening, and excluding your other friends who persistently message you requesting your assistance. This with varying degrees of acceptance can lead to former associates becoming disgruntled, to the effect of permanent deletion from their respective friends lists. This as you have no doubt guessed, had recently occurred to me, with initially minor implications and reserved disappointment, until fate or some sadistic manipulation of the gaming Deities, I encountered one persistently alluded betrayer.

A liberal sprinkling of anxiety coerced me into proceeding despite the familiar pseudonym appearing on-screen, as I began a completely random
co-operative game. As our respective characters spawned, our expressionless facades concealing submerged apprehension, accompanied by the ominous accomplice of abject silence, patiently awaiting the first wave of enemies, as well as each others reactions to one another’s sudden reappearance. All that was missing was some tumbleweed, the protruding western style whistling and Clint Eastwood  clutching a fistful of dollars (probably to soak up my characters pixellated blood that was too soon be shed). This was a former ally, a friend who had joined me in many successful excursions, who I presumed had accidentally erased my name. There was a clear indication however that the individual in question remembered who I was, as my pleas for assistance were ignored with increased detachment, as I avoided stray gunfire and misguided grenades, which were becoming suspiciously more habitual in my proximity. Though a characters face is never an interpretation of the physical presence supremacy, I swear I could discern the slightest inclination of resentment towards me, and an ambiance of audible frustration as though various adjectives could be applied to my mere presence in their vicinity. Yes perhaps I was verbally mute when requests were made for my potential aid, and I could have expressed gratitude more openly when such instances were resolved. But to exclude me, and not be a little receptive and grant acceptable degree of leniency to indulge in other activities, as well as resent such trivial actions seems incredibly immature. I think it could have been the start of a beautiful friendship between us, but sadly not. Heres looking at you kid *zooms in with a scope*.

What bad instances have you encountered online? And have you lost friends due to petty differences? Let me know your thoughts.

All You Need Is Love…And A PlayStation

Relationships are difficult interactions to maintain, real ones I mean, not the fabricated imaginings of some eccentric, with delusions of his manufactured correspondence with Scarlett Johansson. Often soliciting huge self-sacrifice by both participants to prevent courtship stagnation, and voluntary degree of understanding for one another’s recreational activities. For over 5 years my girlfriend has continually tolerated my profusely deranged inhibitions to engage in simulated activities, and almost always accepted with great solidarity and the humorous furrowing of her brow. This level of acceptance, with such equal cordiality is one of her most auspicious traits, and something of an inspiration that soothes my rampant cynicism. Of course such acceptances are usually tainted by attributed attachments, usually forcing me to consult with her shopping purchases, for attires that will be donned with little regularity, and are purely instigated as punishment for my hours of wandering the barren wastes of Skyrims inhospitable reaches (cynicism successfully retained I think). It goes without saying that integration for my recreational inclinations, is a typical recourse when attempting to successfully maintain healthy relations, which has been successfully achieved to a degree.

To her credit, with no former prior investment into virtual interactivity, she has ascended and accumulated hours of successful accolades; completing both Uncharted 2 and 3 with minor interspersed assistance, as well as Batman Arkham Asylum, which admittedly required some persuasion to adapt to the unfamiliar controls, but attaining or perhaps imitating the same determined (stubborn) qualities that I have adopted. Her fortitude was imminently rewarded which, I iterate with some trepidation, bestowed a subtle, yet pronounced smile of satisfied accumulation upon her rather rosy, somewhat disgruntled features.   Communication was paramount for her to achieve these goals, and as laboriously redundant that certain distinct solutions to simple problems, that are obvious for many accomplished gamers, were less evident to her. But the same sense of fragmented happiness that I feel from games, was there.

Education has certainly aided me in my continued pursuit for gaming stimulation, and suppressing these desires is like preventing yourself from inhaling oxygen, or containing laughter when recollecting the moment you witnessed Goofy tripping over a bin at Disneyland (which is still as vivid now as it was then). There is a deceptive responsibility with gaming that requires constant evaluation, planning and permission from my life evaluator (girlfriend), as you sympathise that your precious allotted time could be spent in more productive environments, such as learning a new language for instance, constructing furnishings for your newly acquired home or fixing various irritable parts of your vehicle. But blowing up terrorists in a shower of misty blood is instantly more gratifying than the alternatives, and far more realistic.

The issue of social integration is never forced, nor the squandering of my free time is never brought into disrepute, even when I expressed to her my distancing relations come May, as I highlighted that she will undoubtedly become a GTA widow for an extended, if not permanent extent of time, which was received with the rather deceptive look of scepticism and a worryingly deprived, verbal response. But deep below the dejected facial contortions of abject confirmation, I know there’s a rich sense of sincerity and a cathartic appreciation of my simple desirable request…. I hope?

Do you and your partner share the same passion for gaming? Or do you have to make sacrifices to indulge? Let me hear your opinions.

Should Uncharted 4 Be Co-operative?

Listen, before I begin I feel inclined, no obligated to apologise for my exceedingly obsessive Uncharted inclinations of late. Yes I realise that I gloat about Uncharted’s perfected pursuit to ensnare my affections, as I continually boast of its credentials like some irritating parent listing their childs mildly interesting achievements, and I will undoubtedly be the first individual to receive a restraining order from a purely fictitious character, for my continual accumulation of all related paraphernalia associated with Nate; from clothing, music, novels and even a sackboy key ring appropriately attired in the guise of the prosperous hero Drake. I’m seriously worried that I’ll begin seeing images in inanimate objects, like those interesting fellows who claim to of seen some religious visage on some plywood. I may even see Drakes chiseled facade on pieces of toast, with his arm comfortingly draped around the shoulders of Jesus and the virgin Mary, (though it suddenly occurs to me how much Drake may enjoy how his expeditions could be purely funded by my own charitable contributions?). Hysterical, rather disturbing appreciations aside, its been over a year since Drakes Deception was released, and despite the game still captivating my attention after 12 months, I do find myself musing over what the future holds, with co-op being the obvious direction.

Co-op is often disregarded as something of a renounced integration, with games such as Resident Evil and even Dead Space adapting these features, which have subsequently ruined them in the eyes of their adoring, almost malcontent followers of its craft (despite nay sayers suggesting Dead Spaces demise, though the game is yet to be released?). Both these titles are part of a very distinct genre, and will assuredly alter their characteristics from a game as action orientated as Uncharted, but the same consequences could be applied with the installment of co-operative play. The unpredictability of human incompetence, caustic views of your ability as your continually taunted by online gamers, as well as apprehensive players that could be forced to engage in abrasive conflicts that they would ordinarily avoid by sneaking, are all potentially problematic scenarios that could create more problems and hastening the already pliable discrimination online. Such a dramatic shift in technical alterations to gameplay could potentially disrupt the distinct and flowing narratives that are such unique aspects to the series. Of course there is a simple effective remedy for this particular ailment, to simply play alone.

But sharing the same anxieties with other people seeking to achieve similar goals, can surely only heighten your integrated sensations, with the increasingly dire simulated events  transpiring. There could be a more pronounced sense of individuality, because your assistance is imperative to the success of escaping a dilapidated châteaux, or precariously tilted cruise liner. Other participants to your exploits could be incentives to continue, if protection is instigated to aid you in recovering from ruthless attacks. That one gesture of unsolicited aid reverts the inevitable craving to retort with anger to your abusers, but rather instills a sense of regret and needful retribution to vilify your preservation to your contemporary’s. Co-operative play offers so much scope and manoeuverability for the story to progress and potentially alter. Actions, reactions or character selection to certain stimuli, could have differing repercussions on the way the story unfolds.

Retrieving objects of historical, religious significance or excavating temples encrusted with polished sapphires, whatever engrossing story is concocted by NaughtyDog is certainly going to be more innovative than anything my mind can conjure, and the graphics will undoubtedly reflect the forward thinking nature of the company, but whether or not they utilise co-op is probably of little interest, because it will still be beyond my feeble imaginings. And I can’t wait.

Do you think Uncharted will work as a Co-operative story? Or should it stick to what it does best? Let me know what you think.

Should Uncharted 4 Incorperate Co-op?