Enter Player 3.

Pregnancy. I’d like to convey the experience with articulate nuance. To detail the natural poignancy and embellished wonderment of birth. So let me regale you with a sample of captivating excerpts that humbly expressed my inner monologue, accurately depicts my feelings at the time. Clears throat

“Ehh! It’s all gooey and sticky!
Jesus, what the hell is that?!
Blah! Look at all that faecal matter! It looks like someone’s dropped a nuclear missile into a sewage refinery!
Is that supposed to be there?
Oh god doctor, what are you doing down there?!
Ugh, it looks like that gooey testicle sack in DmC!”

Did I praise her dependable bravery. Commend her resiliency under such intense emotional strain? No the first comment I made was this: “you’re now a milf!” But of course things are never straight forward. As of writing my girlfriend has spent 5 nights induced, in labour, having a caesarean, recovering from complications caused by said caesarean and resting. Lots and lots of resting. From the excruciating pain suffered through inducement to the placenta fluid discharging like an elephants water feature, there’s been no end of fun. I kept a solitary vigil, monitoring her development through the exasperated groans of pain and listless sleep. It’s hard to be so powerless under such intense emotional scrutiny. She’s vulnerable, scared and overwhelmingly frustrated of progression evidenced in her sigh of resignation. Your sole purpose during these horrific proceedings is providing services that on the surface alleviate the negative atmosphere resonating around the entire situation. Of course there are variously assigned midwives providing supportive guidance through her enduring exertions, dispensing medication and pain relief to soothe an already troubled mind. But when more and more invasive procedures are implemented, with cannula’s, catheter’s and various other tubes and valves inserted all across her body it’s difficult not to survey your surroundings as if you’re viewing a horror movie. Like the entire event is merely a fictional representation of real events embellished and recorded for the purposes of entertainment. It all feels so surreal.

My participation in the birth was purely circumstantial, providing attentive calm as opposed to any medical assistance. It’s heartbreaking to see her in such a pain. Even worse when after 4 days of induction, labour and intense pain you discover that you’re spouse will have to undergo a caesarean section anyway. I have never been as terrified as I was in that moment, having to fake a perception of confidence to reassure my girlfriend that everything will be fine. But I scrubbed up none the less determined to be the pillar of strength she required. It’s fascinating just how jovial surgeon’s are. They act as though cutting babies from a mother’s womb is a trivial as florist arranging a bouquet for an elderly lady? My suspicion of their ability was immediately raised however when one of the many tubes inserted into my girlfriends arms were leaking, something that had escaped their attention. I can tell you now that I have never been so doubtful of someone’s capabilities to ensure very basic skills to their work. I’ll spare you the rest of the gory details and confirm that despite some minor complications my girlfriend and daughter are healthy. Though in typical fashion there were of course post operative complications where my girlfriends lungs were partially filled with fluid causing repository difficulties that resulted in constant monitoring, reliance on a ventilator and total abstinence from her new born daughter. On the whole it’s been….hmm? An experience.

But let’s not stand on ceremony and allow me to introduce our baby daughter Rose, Violet Weller.

Oh wait. Hang on….

Now before you ask we didn’t decide on the names because of a brief trip to a florist. Rose is named after Emily Rose, the voice actor of Nathan Drakes muse Elena Fisher. (Though don’t tell my girlfriend that!) And Violet was the name of my aunt who sadly passed away too soon when I was just a kid. She was an endearing influence on me and her contribution to my growth as a human being cannot be overstated. And I know she’d be proud of both Rose and my girlfriend, whom is just as important in my life along with my mother.

I realise that the long gestating period of pregnancy has become a routine subject of much ubiquity on this site, over powering a gaming site that hasn’t directly referenced games in a two week period and hopefully normal service will resume once I find an hour or two to actively engage in some game time. I just need time to settle and adjust because there’s a moment, fleeting as it is where you question yourself. Have we made the right decision? How will we cope? Will we be good parents? It’s a natural reaction, one that’s difficult to define. There’s no certainty. But when you place that wiggling little bundle in you’re girlfriends arms and watch as Rose stops whimpering and embraces her mother’s warming hug you realise that this was always the right decision.

Special thanks goes to Pembury hospital for their support, hard-work and tireless dedication to patient care.

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