Well it’s happened, I’ve become that guy! The one who’s besotted by every little mannerism or gestural nuance of their child. “Oh she gurgled. Oh he burped. Oh she plopped. Oh he projectile vomited in his mother’s mouth! So adorable. It’s these moments I cherish the most.” What’s worse is that my daughter hasn’t even been born yet. It’s evident that this obsession will only hasten as the baby begins to become a more realistic proposition. An infant whose preferred method of communication will likely be flatulence, that will no doubt endeavour to castigate any and all free moments to game with deliberate, infantile interventions. Yet I’m not put off, nor do I resent the lack of time that I’ll dedicate to gaming as much as I thought I would. Logistically I’ve been somewhat complacent too, dismissing the very existence of the steadily progressing growth that has bloated my girlfriends uterus. The spare room that has been acting as a storage facility for all our surplus bric-a-brac as well as my games room for almost 3 years is still stuck in a perpetual rift. It’s not decorated suitably, with one wall painted in a bright, rather aggressive hue of red. Nor is it equipped with adequate furnishings to accommodate the very singular specifications that a baby would need such as a cot. One minute everything is normal, then suddenly this innocuous bump has swelled to the point that ignorance is no longer an acceptable recourse. I don’t think I’ve been capable of processing that this is happening, that preparations for her arrival should be my immediate priority. Not the completion of Arkham Knight or waiting for the release of Uncharted 4, but this. A child! A matted culmination of my girlfriend and myself with diminutive proportions that will rely so heavily on the combined support of both her parents. It wasn’t until last Saturday that I finally understood the significance this tiny creature will have on our lives.
The pictures are a little difficult to see but I can confirm without bias, that she she will be perfect!
I’ve attended every routine scan since we found out about the pregnancy which has provided distorted images of our daughter. But without any clarifying features it still felt distant, like it was happening to someone else. The 4d scan has given a physicality to a previously formless entity, generating a palpable sense of clarity to something that had never felt real. With my mother in attendance, eyes glazed in tears, I got a clearer picture of our unborn daughter and how my mother will react every time she sees her. Apart from my girlfriends rather sordid comparison that described her as looking like the elephant man (the baby, not my mother), which now ruins the above pictures, I felt a tremendous sense of pride I’d never achieve from any platinum trophy, especially as she doesn’t appear to of inherited the terrifying snout that has cursed the bloodline of my family. Now I have this infatuation to mention her in every conversation regardless of context. “Oh you had pizza for dinner last night? Lovely. My girlfriend is baking a little pizza of her own!
Now with less than 3 months until her birth I’m feeling both terrified and excited. What carnage will ensue when this little poop suppository is born? Well I’m sure it will consist of feeding’s, butt wiping and sleep deprivation. And that’s just me! But if her mother is any indication of her potential stature, characteristics and personality then our daughter is going to grow into a capable, giving, bubbly and gorgeous young woman. Just like her mother.