My Problem With Batman: Arkham Knight.

Holy unnecessary implementation Batman!
As is customary for my tempered valuations, especially regarding titles with almost universal acclaim, I have an adept idiosyncratic quality that allows me to be critical of any pedestrian frailty that most individuals can blissfully ignore. My life is not deigned in the pursuit of pedantic nitpicking, though I must admit that my Anglian proclivities for domiciliary moaning is indulged with frequent intimacy. But I digress. You see, being very much current when it comes to playing the newest most exclusive gaming content, I was one of the first gamers to play Batman Arkham Knight…..in my household. Well, technically second, but 2 comes right after 1! Anyway having temporarily procured a copy of Arkham Knight, borrowed from a friend who wouldn’t require it for a couple of weeks due to his vacation in Greece, it didn’t take me long to exhibit my procedural criticism with refined diligence. Arkham Knight is in fairness an incredibly difficult game to find fault with. I’m only in the preliminary stages of progression but it’s fun, frenetic, atmospheric and hugely entertaining. But don’t worry, I can find fault with the word “perfect” if I had to. (I mean shouldn’t it have a “U” in there somewhere?). So my problem isn’t with plot holes, glitches or slightly animatronic Batsuit, but the vehicular transport.

“Oh, joy. Look, the Batmobile……again.”

This purported failure seems to be a pertinent lamentation for the majority of users, providing ample fodder for my own accented grievance. The laxity in vehicular pursuit, which admittedly had its moments of erratic vigour, was often as competent as a dyslexic trying to spell, well “dyslexic”. Fulfilling particularly unorthodox solution to a problem that doesn’t exist, due to your ability to simply glide through the streets of Gotham with relative ease?! This preferential utility, if used efficiently could’ve been a fun little distraction from the punch bag criminals, but instead your left reeling at the covetous requirement, engaged in repertory and highly unnecessarily protracted conflicts, when assuaged moderation is preferable. “Oh wow it’s the Batmobile! Oh, it’s the Batmobile, again. Oh great, it’s the Batmobile.” This is my progressive reaction to much of the Bat “Tank” mobile. The forced capitulation for this disruptive tedium is an irritation for me. The wilful prohibition of any supplementary tasks shouldn’t coral your experience. It shouldn’t leave you to resent its existence, incurring massive degenerative impudence to your progression. It’s like some kind of Michael Bay mode, akin to giving Sherlock Holmes a Rocket Launcher to resolve his cases, and to me it’s certainly taking liberties with batman’s “non-lethal” policy. Your effectively firing highly volatile, incredibly combustible materials and using them as projectiles. I don’t care if you seem the perpetrators scurrying out of the wreckage, there is no way that such aggressive suppressions will result in non lethal incapacitation! They will probably suffer from permanent ear damage. Require detailed psycho analysis too. And what about the shrapnel? You can’t honestly expect me to believe that the resulting explosion didn’t involuntary cause peripheral metallic debris to inflict further damage on its retreating inhabitants? I can’t be the only one who thinks about these things? Can I? No you shut up!

Batmobile orientated side-quests are fine, I can deal with such a minor inconvenience. Limited, optional capacity that could be indulged with at your own accord? Sure! But don’t make such a cool addition seem repentant. And I realise I keep going on about this but there is no way they are alive! Their cars are being shot at by a tank. A cannon, on a tank. A Tank! They ain’t getting out of there alive, I’m sorry, I’m not having that! Also while I’m reaching for further nonchalant deficiencies, how come his car (tank) is always in such close proximity? This is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night, OK?!

Have you played Arkham Knight? If so what did you think of it? Let me know. Cheers.