The Number Of The Beasts!

The suspension of physics and comprehensive ignorance to the human anatomy is something I admire in a game. Perhaps that’s a questionable facet to elicit admiration for, but some games just don’t embrace the visual hilarity of flaccid limbs slapping against the palliated features of a one-eyed, anthropomorphic alien and moderately aggressive quarrels that ensue. No I don’t require medical assistance, I am in fact talking about a game called “Gang Beasts” that I played a couple of weeks ago at EGX Rezzed and I have to admit that I cackled through most of interim tenure like a gurgling drain. Which is rather embarrassing considering the number of observers that watched me and others chuckle like pigs with respiratory failure. You control these ocular oddities in multi-player carnage, attired in various garish costumes grappling in the most salacious, elasticated cuddles. With limbs contrived of spaghetti noodles distributing as much cohesive velocity as milk float, you can’t help but laugh hard! Watching bodies helplessly convulsing on the floor, erratically humping the ground to regain vertical posture is an exercise in futility. Holding the shoulder buttons allows you to clasp each other leading to some very questionable entanglements, as your limp elasticity lets your limbs stray into all manner of compromising positions. Tapping the buttons however registers a punch with all the intimidating veracity as Elmo of roller-skates!

The combat reminds me of that kid (me) that couldn’t defend himself from bullies with efficient repulsion, and would instead flail limbs around with erratic fortitude until they eventually connect with a hard surface. Normally a locker! Or maybe it reminds me of lunchtime at Top Gear’s office? In either instance you can pummel your way through a litany of terrains while avoiding obstacles such as mobile lorries, dangle precariously from 2 connected window cleaning hoists, grapple in a wrestling ring or get sucked into a hydraulic turbine. If “Gang Beasts” does nothing else, it will at least allow you to host some exceptionally hysterical parties with your segregated friends. Now all I need to do is ensure that this game I described actually existed? There are certainly images and other media footage to corroborate it. Oh look, a trailer!