With a commodious sedative of flashy gimmicks, oscillating projections, bulking partitions embossed with incandescent fixtures to illuminate respective areas eclipsing competitors, with enough vestigial smugness demonstrated from public orators that if such concentrated professions could be condensed into a sustainable fertiliser, then we may not ever have to worry about the fertility of crops ever again. Yes this was E3, the voluminous compendium of partisan exhibition and self publicity, which is understandable considering the nature of these events. Now before I capitulate into the murky depths of sardonic postulation’s with my own unenviable critical lamentations regarding E3, I do have to clarify that I do enjoy the majority of the typically elongated conferences, and it has certainly inclined my opinion on products that previously retained a peripheral presence in my mind into something more affixed. My maligned grievance isn’t with the content or the credible influence of brevity, but the overall falsity of the event. The exhibitive hype, dramatic elocution’s, desultory presentation issues, contemporary entrance music and exultant prestige are indicative thematic’s of any self-indulgent conference. We expect the familiarised glamour and resonating arrogance from the exhibitionist’s with a peculiar penchant for loquacious exertions, punctuated by rigid hand gestures that really *slice* illustrates *frantic finger-pointing* home *fist* the *hand clasp* point!
But its the informal permutations that suggest games our absolute to a they’re system that vexes me most, with illusory portrayal of exclusivity that isn’t entirely distorted, but neither is it entirely true either. When representatives step on to the capacious stage awash with lauding applause for presumptuous acclaim they suddenly become illusionists, conducting grand scintillating spectacles while professing exaggerated aplomb with sleight of hand and reflective truths. I understand they need to objectify competitors, even undermine and goad them to a subtle degree, and it probably would have been less reprehensible if the chosen speakers possessed a modest measure of vivacity rather than analytical pacifying of they’re goals and promises. It instead becomes more of a calculated procedural, farcical in some past instances, with each company attempting to one up everyone else rather than extruding content they’re proud to display. They parley for your attention, entreating fans with grovelling rebukes. You have Sony asking for patience despite its latency to deliver on quantitative quality. Microsoft seemingly ignorant to their “integral” connect device, pleading for penance for past mistakes. And Nintendo competently asserting its relevance amongst a very frugal community, by still providing incredible, if not original content, but also highlighting their regimental regression in regards to social interactivity, that others are utilising to prosperous effect. Pleading for respective patience, forgiveness and sales. There is always a collage of vibrancy that further punctuates the individual spectacle, like fireworks at a new years party, but with all the flamboyant tumult comes pedantic expressionism like discomforting flatulence. It’s essentially 90 mins of self-exerted superiority with economy becoming an underrated proxy.
And what do we get for our devout dispensation? We become saturated in bloated extravagance, awash with CGI trailers that demonstrate images that will likely possess little resemblance to the finished article and nothing of the actual game-play. It’s a gaming media event….with little game-play? Many of the announced trailers also had a tonal preference for 2015, seemingly unperturbed by the lacking presence of the bulimic content currently available. The industry, from my perspective is collaboratively fluctuating, fastidious in the way it presents a year of prosperity and a recessive mediocrity the next. Personally I would respect an exposition with transparency, a representative simply presiding over stage giving an honest narration of the situation of its developing content and just say “Do you know what? We have a handful of good games this year, but save your seminal fluids, because we have a fertile suppository for you to ejaculate over next year.” Well, perhaps not deferring such a specifically vulgar vernacular, but certainly words to that effect. Playing games directly at your own discretion rather than relying on the verbal bravado of a paid representative is the only verifiable barometer of a games endowment, which is why so many gamers attend the event and perhaps that is how E3 should be collectively adjudged; not by the fraudulent gravitas of its contributors, but the extensive collection of games you can actually play. Or maybe an officiated representative should simply provide me with free press passes and air flights to the event, then I could retract all of my accosting appraisals. Just giving you something to consider.
What do you think of E3 in general? Is it boring, trailer ridden affair? Or am I just bitter? Let me know how right I am. Cheers.