Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg (Huh, I’ve only just got that). Christmas, it’s a time for sharing gifts, laughs and gathering for cumulative festivities with residential member’s of your family, as well as the superfluous congregation that you normally disassociate from for feasting on festive provisions, in a residence that grossly exceeds maximum occupancy. The traditional humility of Christmas is stifled by the commercialised depiction of the holidays; Christmas trees lavishly decorated with reticulated lights, accompanied by clashing tinsel that slowly constricts the saplings natural elegance with adverse vibrancy, and a living room adorned with various trinkets that imply the advent of good tidings. The sundry of salted foods and errant consumption of alcohol culminate in an intoxicated contempt for the mandatory family activities, with occasional lavatory break granting a brief reprieve from the errant, polluting belches and ethereal gases that emanate with increased potency. But despite the remedial characterisation of this annual event, such as the faux courtesies you adopt when unravelling a present that conceals yet another pair of socks and retentive compulsion to emancipate yourself from a brood that you barely associate with for the additional 364 days of the year; the gathering of familiarity somehow always evokes a feeling of tranquil conformity. But this Christmas is also a time for negligent depletion of disposable income, exacerbated in this instance by a PS4.
Anyone in similar circumstances–whether from acquiring a PS4 or Xbox One will share a mutual affinity to my current financial woes. The initial depletion of mailable funds has only been intensified by some carnal desire to maintain an initiated relationship with a superior appliance, I feel I don’t deserve. It’s the equivalent of courting Kat Denning’s; you feel anxious in their presence, with a statutory inferiority to her angular beauty, docile frame that oozes promiscuous femininity with an alluring smile and two ample, hugely captivating…..eyes. You feel submissive in its reverent presence, seemingly humbled by its stationery visitation, angular contours and subtle protrusions–that incidentally feels so minimalistic that you can’t even find the appropriate insertion for the discs–that you find you conduct yourself in very adolescent manner. You observe the vibrant resolutions free of latency, begin circumnavigating the polished rooms with rotary confirmation of its 1080 credentials that solidifies your pre-emptive decision to purchase–what some analysts would consider an inflated asset. But before you’ve accredited this expense into your rigid, budgetary restraints your already procuring further content to bolster your small library, and in some oblique intersection of your mind, taking monitory preventions to insure that your PS4 doesn’t reject you. You become like an exotic bird presenting gifts and officious flattery to curry favour with a mate and exhibiting its impressively arranged plumage to symbolise your suitability, which is notably tragic! (My that black coating really brings out the blue in your strip)
Gifts that family member’s will receive from me this year will likely consist of bargains that were reduced to clear, or repackaged rejections of past Christmas presents I’ve received in hope to reduce my depleted expenses, and hope that they don’t recognise their returned gifts. My curiosity regarding the next-gen has been sated, but as a result I have spent in excess of £500 on–at present–overpriced hardware, subscription to participate on-line with games that hardly utilise its full potential and on a device that has omitted extensive amount of mandatory content and applications with an inherent clarification on when we can hope to obtain its uninhibited hardware. And I couldn’t be happier! (Or poorer)
How do you find the next-gen so far? Or are you saving your money for now? Let me know your opinions. Cheers.