“Excuse me gentleman, but I’m looking to acquire some health insurance?”
Don’t you wish you could simply subsidised your time conveniently with some form of mitosis that could suitably separate your duplicated self to handle the responsibilities we’d rather not attend too; like replacing yourself at work, appear at awkward family gatherings you’d rather not attend, completing simple, numeral arithmetic when examining whether you have received the appropriate change from your purchases, or–taking into account my current predicament–striving to process the extensive, technical jargon and the legalised legitimacy that concern purchasing a house. Yes, I am preparing to part buy a home and am currently in proceedings for finalising the proposed properties acquisition, with all the enriching profusion and fiscal accumulations that are unceremoniously stripped from you. Stepping into the foray of maturity has never felt so restrictive, particularly for someone of such adverse revulsion to any form of alterations to my comfortable ambiance. You exert yourself into a world of decorum, indulge in discussions with financial advisor’s who cast solemn glances of indifference to your mammoth undertaking, attempting to baffle you with discretionary terms that perturb your concentration, as well as the spiralling additional costs that ebb out the remaining fragments of sanity that have been purged by additional stress that question the relevance of your existence. All of which negate the enriching rewards afforded by the procurement of your intended home. So the importance of gaming as a clemency of pressurised tension is paramount.
“This depicts every home buyers dream; showing your dangling bits to your neighbours.”
Gaming is the only time that my feeble mind isn’t congested by the monotonous, linguistic excuse of grammatical vocabulary depicted in various contractual agreements. Gaming is a distraction from this. It’s an alluring reprieve that dictates your emotions and allows you to harness these volatile correspondences, that is both a proportionate reflection of your built up frustrations, but also relieving the concavity of cranial surplus through your often simulated antagonized violations. These reprisals, though fleeting allow my fragmented mind to sustain some form of normality, to repair cerebral maladies severely damaged by jarring verbiage depicted in contracts that are embellished beyond comprehension. Documents with notarised signatures, conducted in the presence of unaffiliated witnesses or morose collaborations between myself and the my bank. A total contractual abstinence, even for the briefest of moments is vital for an attainment of repressed joy and will to progress, and not an insistence on demonic, grown up terms such as “mortgage”, “obligation” or “mortagation”. It’s entirely possible that I fabricated the last word encased in quotations as some form of twisted amalgamation of the two previously quoted words. Though judging by my weakened mental stability, as well as my impotence to utilise my larynx to its desired, vocal effect in addition to the extensive reading material that is perused at my discretion currently, I couldn’t definitively state either way.
“If only every tedious transaction could be preceded by a huge pub brawl?”
All I know is that irrespective of the title or genre, I needn’t concern myself with whether or not Ezio’s Château has the required contents insurance in case of theft or accidental damage (because we all know how clumsy these renaissance assassins can be) or if his aforementioned property is suitably covered against a–likely–invasion from Templars that could cause exterior damage to the property. Or whether treasure recently excavated on my globe-trotting endeavours through my misadventures as hoarder of rare antiquities, Nathan Drake have legal ramifications, such as whether these apprised declarations are tax-deductible or whether I should omit these possessions as a gift? Who knows, who cares, I don’t even know if what I’m rambling on about is even remotely coherent, or is it just the desultory of a soon to be incarcerated lunatic; nuttier than a squirrel whose stolen a pecan from a woman named Hazzle, who just popped out to buy peanut butter for her dog nutmeg, who coincidently lives in a house shaped like a macadamia? (Admit it, your impressed by my extensive nut referrals?) In any case I had better leave for the moment to garner further gaming relief before I incur greater, less temporary afflictions, like an aneurysm. Nurse?! I believe it’s time for my medication. Thank you nurse nutmeg.
How important is gaming to you when stressed? Let me hear about your experiences. Cheers.
Game, Complain, Repeat 