This morning, I awoke with a rather peculiar feeling (no, I didn’t wet the bed), a kind of abstract sense of self-reflection. In a state of transparent consciousness and lucid contemplation, I began to recall some of my gaming achievements and mentally list my successes and glaring failures. Recoiling the unadulterated satisfaction that I felt when I gleefully handed Lance Vance his deserved comeuppance for his reprehensible betrayal in Vice City, losing the control of my faculties while gripping my self in a comforting embrace, as I once again fail to quash the Tyrant and his newly mutated claws in the bowels of Umbrellas laboratory, during my second aggravating play through of Resident Evil 2. But these vivid memory’s are completely ascended by the introduction of a game I’ve only just obtained, at a reduced price mind; Shadows of the Damned.
Subtlety, sophistication and censorship are not wasted on Shadow’s, or on creator Sudo 51, who has designed a game where your unable to skip the title sequence, until his name past, is recognised and probably respected. Shadows has been likened to Resident Evil 4, and although your traversing a hellish demon world, filled with demonic ghouls with a damsel in distress, this is where the similarities end (actually, did they even begin?). Trying to justify any conceivable affinity with Resident Evil 4 to Shadows of the Damned is akin to likening Albert Einstein’s competence with a certain Italian cruise ship captain. The controls are woefully unpredictable, the protagonist emphasises every stereotype affiliated with a rogue anti-hero, but what Shadows does well is over indulgent, narcissistic nonsense.
The vast majority of this game is spent regaling in your trigger happy indulgences, whilst unavoidably overhearing Garcia Hotspur’s (great name) arbitrary comments that are only interrupted by his almost continuous expletives. This game is the most vulgar, degenerate and downright childish creation I have ever played, and I couldn’t be happier. Nothing is left to even the most perverted of imaginations, continuous streams of blood spouting from dismembered legs, arms and whatever else you can concoct, there’s more foul language here, than a spat between Gordon Ramsey and Christian Bale suffering from severe bout of turrets, not to mention the occasional expletive scenes and references of a sexual nature. A weapon known as the “Big Boner” can only be obtained when your companion’s, (which happens to be a demons free-floating skull), senses are “heightened”, if you know what I mean? At one point, you encounter an impassable chasm that only becomes accessible when it’s bridged by the half-naked visage, of your snarled girlfriend.
If your of a nervous disposition, then avoid this aberrant title, if you’re an unstable, degenerate with a deeply grotesque sense of humour, like myself, then…..you probably already own Shadows of the Damned.
What did you make of Shadows? And what is the most absurd game you’ve ever played?