All These Games, But Nothing To Play!

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I find myself in a bit of a bind. A dilemma if you will. Just to provide a little context to my current social quandary, my job, a position of moderate authority necessitates certain obligatory responsibilities, if you are to be effective in the role. Conditions and training that must be completed if you are to satisfy your role sufficiently. As a professional courtesy, I was enrolled in First Aid training. A three day course that permits exemption from my usually daily duties, in exchange for tuition at a training centre that just so happens to be located a mere 10 mins from my house. With the added incentive of gaining official accreditation as a first aider, as well as the benefit of a useful life skill. Unfortunately having arrived for our second day’s training we were informed that a member of group had tested positive for Covid 19. This meant that course had to be postponed and 3 other colleagues as well as myself had to self-isolate (Thankfully on full pay).

A rather advantageous holiday enforced by current government stipulations that permitted an extended, if fortuitous convalescence. This obviously provides ample opportunity to perform long neglected domestic tasks. Repairing shelving. Cultivating my considerable back garden. Reorganising my clutter, because when you’re in a relationship it’s clearly “MY” stuff that is in the way. And being the naturally laid-back individual that I am, I achieved none of these objectives. I was instead content to while away the time eating, sleeping and stubbing my toe (don’t ask!). Gaming without restrain however came less instinctive. An particuarly ominous predicament considering my usually obsessive personality.

Having recently attained the Platinum for Just Cause 4, an accomplishment only achieved by 0.3% of participants, I had vetted a number of potential replacements in anticipation of its completion. Until Dawn, Final Fantasy VII, Concrete Genie, all downloaded and ready to play. Yet none of them seemed right. They’re all games I want to play, most requiring significant time complete. Time, courtesy of Rona, I’d been furnished with. And still, nothing.

Perhaps the generous allocation was the problem. A cognitive impairment, bred from the hesitancy of excessive deliberation. I’m so used to be coerced by the restraints of time, making swift, instinctive commitments rather than linger on a decision. Employing a natural frugality that informs my usually judicious mandate. That being afforded the time to really think about my choices actually stunted my ability to make an informed critical judgment.

Instead I create arbitrary excuses to deflect from making a decision. Mentally erected blockades and artifical barriers that prevent me from making any call, let alone the right one. It wasn’t until my quarantine was nearly over that I finally settled on “Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla”. A game that at the time I didn’t even OWN let alone listed! I had everything to choose from, but nothing to play.

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Have you ever had this problem? Let me know in the comments below. Cheers.

The Joy’s Of Parenting.

Being a parent is a stressful occupation. A responsibility that supercedes almost every other aspect of your life, negating all personal aspirations to interspersed caveats. Every facet of day to day life is compromised by the demands of your child, a steadily growing human whose formative development is dependant on a number of social and ambient variables. From arranging Disney figures through kitchen chairs, to having to confiscate the toys because that insists on throwing them, before hurling themselves to the floor in a sudden furore of petulance, caring for a developing child is challenging. Lack of sleep, hunger, boredom, and all manner of other contributing factors only compound the issue of discipline.

Trying to establish compliance in a 5 year old is at times like trying to control the flow of water with a sieve. My daughter for the most part is a kind, considerate little girl, with lofty aspirations of becoming a ballet dancing, Princess boxer. The logical trifecta. But when she becomes disobedient, her demeanour completely changes. Her usual congenial behaviour erodes into a form of aggressive dissent so conflicting I’m not entirely convinced she hasn’t been possessed by an irate demon baby!

Much of these eruptions of rancour can be attributed to the banal environmental effects of the day: Hunger. Fatigue. Boredom. These detriments, however vigerous, do not excuse the unreasonable hostility that we as parent’s must endure. A tenacious spite so resolute in it’s malice that you begin to wonder if your neighbours from across the street are contacting child protection services!

The idea of striking a child as a method of discipline is such a primitive means of deterring aggressive behaviour, one I personally abhor. But I have to admit the compulsion to administer some Dickension era retribution is difficult to resist at times. Some days are more difficult than others. Some temperaments more potent. With erratic cacophony of peevish complaints shrieked with incessant regularity. Patience swiftly erodes, dictated by the erratic lamentations of a 3ft banshee, that eventually incurs a paternal wraith no compassionate father wants to invoke.

It can be difficult to find an acceptable compromise that appeases her resolute obstinacy, without diminishing our parental authority. The tablet for instance is a frequent source of irritation. Often bargained with as an incentive to promote good behaviour. With the removal of this device being a catastrophic impediment for the delicate ecosystem that resides in our home. Trying to moderate her time with it is the hardest part. With it the tablet enables a much needed reprieve, providing my partner and I time to complete necessary household chores or to simply relax for 5 minutes. But too long glued to the screen and you become neglectful, ultimately resented by our daughter for the tablet’s absence.

The important thing is for us to mantain a united front against the tyranny of an emotional terrorist, manipulative in her endeavours to divide us and break down our resolve. She may only be 5, but she is already starting to demonstrate a canny intelligence that exceeds our own. You want to be a good parent. Equip them to be well adjusted, self dependent progeny, endowed with enough knowledge and moral fortitude to make educated, informed decisions that doesn’t compromise their principles. What concerns me is that judged on current behaviour I’m more likely to be visiting her secret volcano lair.

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Why I Probably Won’t Be Playing The Elder Scrolls VI.

Since Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda, the industry has been scrutinising precisely how Xbox will integrate the studio into its diverse habitat. As a predominantly PlayStation user, I’ve personally been concerned about exclusivity. Specifically will the “Elder Scrolls VI” be a purely Xbox dedicated property? Though there’s been no official confirmation, rather a broad road-map, there’s sufficient evidence that indicates a return to Tamriel might not be a viable destination for Sony.

During Microsoft’s celebratory welcome of Bethesda to the Xbox firmament, Phil “The Power!” Spencer made an oblique promise regarding their matrimonial alliance, stating that all Bethesda games, not immediately contracted to other utilities, would be available where ever Gamepass existed. So even though upcoming Bethesda shooter “Deathloop’s” timed exclusivity with PlayStation will be honoured, there’s a strong implication that Elder Scrolls 6, as well as many of Bethesda’s other prodigious assets won’t be.

Despite all the pontificating, the continued bluster concerning the advocacy for a more autonomous domain to be expended, it’s apparent that Microsoft is as supportive of exclusives as Sony are. When you are spending $7.5 billion to acquire a studio that retains the “Elder Scrolls” and “Fallout” in their extensive portfolio, it makes sense to curtail its exposure beyond the Xbox brand. It’s the same reason people own a PlayStation. I mean if you’re buying a PlayStation and aren’t playing an over the shoulder, third-person shooter, then what are you playing?!

You have to commend them. They have the substantial resources, as well as the gall to just simply “buy” a major game developer. Something that Sony just isn’t capable of emulating. This is also a compliment to Sony, that Microsoft had to spend billions of dollars to stay competitive with them. It also creates much needed competition in a stagnating market, because the last thing consumers need is a 1 company industry that can dictate and regulate gaming to suite their selfish, corporate needs.

Am I a little bitter about this acquisition? Sure. I adored Skyrim, in all of its mired purity. And the knowledge that a decade long wait for a follow-up to Skyrim is potentially in doubt, just seems so cruel. This isn’t a deliberate attempt to abstain from a “rival” console because of some vengeful conquest. Nor is about brand loyalty, or some resentment towards the “Elder Scrolls” because of its absence from PlayStation, but one of finance and logistics. I already own a PS5, an expensive hobby tempered by domestic responsibilities, that negates much of my fleeting income. So with neither the money nor the space for another console, certainly not for the privilege of 1 game, if the Elder Scrolls is destined for a permanent PlayStation sabbatical, then sadly for me I’ll have to fight mud-crabs elsewhere.

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What do you guys think? Have you ever bought a console purely for 1 exclusive? Let me know in the comments below. Cheers.

Retro Style Arcade Turtles Game Revisited In “TMNT: Shredders Revenge”.

Nothing invokes childhood nostalgia quite like the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”. These four subterranean reptiles and their insatiable appetite for Italian cuisine, were the paternal influences of my formative years. Their weekly conflicts with “Shredder” and his criminal disciples the “Footclan” were stimulating imagery, eagerly imitated by me in my back garden. Wielding my mother’s washing line prop pole as a substitute bo staff, attaching a plastic shell from my old turtle potty, strapped to my back using the luxury bath robe belt, I bravely defended the innocent citizens of my garden from the encroaching malevolence of Krang. Before indulging the compulsory swoons of an emphatically grateful April O Neil. An implied cross-species relationship my feeble mind was too young to comprehend.

When I wasn’t protecting the imagined denizens of my back garden from the swathes of evil-doers, I was living the life of a Ninja Turtle vicariously through the arcade games. My Dad and I teaming up in a now sadly rationed moment of patriarchal solidarity. But now, thanks to developer “Tribute Games”, I can regain some of that fading youth with “TMNT: Shredders Revenge”. A 4 player online/offline? Arcade beat-em-up, inspired by the classic 90’s era games I exclusively devoted my life too.

Though still in early development, with details concerning release date or indeed platforms sparse, I can exclusively reveal that Shredders Revenge is going to be radical! Seriously, this is the Turtles sequel I’ve been waiting over 2 decades for! Hopefully this can be the catalyst that can impart the same nostalgic sentiments to my daughter, that I felt when teaming up with my father to play these games.

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What do you guys think? Will you be playing “Shredders Revenge”? And most importantly, who was your favourite Ninja (Hero for us in the UK) Turtle? For me it was always Donatello. Let me know in the comments below. Cowabunga!

God Of Bore?

Besides the new hardware, one of the PlayStation 5’s most intriguing prospects is the introduction of the PlayStation Plus Collection. A curated library of essential PS4 game’s that, for whatever reason, you didn’t get to play on initial release. Work and domestic bliss encroaches on us all I’m afraid! It’s the ultimate “best of” compilation, that has afforded me the fortuitous opportunity to finally play “God Of War”. A glaring omission in an otherwise stellar catalogue of PlayStation exclusives I’ve already enjoyed. And is worth noting that this is my first exposure to the series, having never played any of the previous incumbents. But a game of such eulogised acclaim is indiscriminately burdened by an immeasurable expectancy that it can’t possibly realise.

God Of War is good. Solid even. The combat is varied and satisfying. The story, rooted in the fascinating pantheon of Norse mythology, fluidly melds these ancient folklore’s with that of Kratos, in a satisfying composite of “fact” and fiction. Providing compelling insight into his outwardly stoic demeanour, mercurial temperament and suppressed rage that belies the internal conflict of Kratos emotional vulnerability. In short its well crafted, but vexing. There is so much to admire, yet so little about it that is persuasive.

The term “overrated” is such a derivative expression, flagrantly applied to a culturally popular properties as a way of explaining why an individual possesses a contrarian belief of something. To me GOW’s venerated acclaim, generated through legitimate appreciation from the community, informs my perception of the game. Something so widely revered was only going to disappoint me. Now that’s not the games fault and it certainly isn’t the responsibility of the communities ubiquitous adulation for the game, but my own delusive expectations. It’s the “Blade Runner” effect.

Many years ago I confided in a work colleague, subsequently many since, that I didn’t like Blade Runner. Mindful of their visible incredulity, a kind of amalgamated expression of someone who has watched an intruder urinate on their kids and simultaneously stubbed their toe whilst doing so, I immediately tried assuage their confusion by duly conceding that despite not enjoying the experience, I did respect the movie’s craft. Both it’s aesthetic and tone, whilst also being thoroughly bored by the entire experience. I accept that this is a subjective, highly controversial opinion, but one expressed with earnest authenticity.

My ambivalence towards GOW isn’t intended to provoke or even to inspire the scarce few reciprocal acknowledgements that might sympathise with my situation. Merely to expose an alternate discernment on a generally beloved game. It would be easy to criticise specific elements, such as the tedious end game errands purposely designed to artificially inflate the runtime. Or the recycled enemy types. But this kind of pedantic criteria can be applied to any game of such exceptional aptitude. The problem isn’t the game, its the individual. God Of War is one of those game’s that I have great admiration for, but sadly not much affinity.

Are there any critically revered games you don’t enjoy? Let me know in the comments below. Cheers.